It's a Big World...Sort of

“You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing.”
― Alan Wilson Watts

The story I am about to share, about being connected to the people around you, is 100% true.  You will probably read it and question the above statement (and possibly my integrity), and that's okay.  That's what humans do.  Question away!  But it happened in a room full of people...while my hubby teased me about thinking that the outcome that did occur...would occur.  Confused?  Read on... 

 

I have to back up the story here, so you can more clearly follow along.  Peach and Pickle went to a different school than they go to now, when they started their adventure in the wonderful world of education.  So we have been fortunate to meet lots of different parents and little people!  I am continually amazed by the fantastic mix of people that exist on this planet.  I love you all! 

 

It was Mother's Day weekend, and my hubby and his family arrived Saturday to celebrate the day.  As we were sitting around chatting, the phone rang.  It was a long distance number, so I answered it.  The German accented voice asked for a name that I didn't recognize, so I informed her kindly that she had the wrong number.  She questioned if she had reached the city I live in, and I confirmed she had.  She explained to me that someone had left a message on her answering machine and she couldn't understand the last few numbers of the phone number, so had dialled mine in error.  While this explanation is in the process, I discover I recognize her voice.  Now - she is calling from Germany - I know that - but here is where it gets weird - and I get teased.  I ask her if she has a son named Willy (this is the exact point that hubby starts rolling his eyes and joking with his family that I think I know everyone).  I can hear his laughter AT THE SAME TIME she says, "Yes."  So I laugh and reply, "Is this Seigret?" She confirms it is.  This is the point that "It's a Small World After All" starts tinkling in between my ears (because I'm weird like that)...I respond - "Seigret - it's Kathy Pettit - Peach's mom!"

 

At this point I am envisioning my husband choking on a mouthful of crow, as he listens to our conversation, catching each other up on what our kids are doing.  She had moved back to Germany with her family, so had left the region permanently.  We hadn't exchanged phone numbers, as we had moved to another school , and young girls being what they are, stayed more connected to the female students of their past.

 

So, in that small twist of fate, she had mistakenly called my house, thousands of miles away, to prove the theory that we are all a function of what the universe is doing - at any given time.  Be nice to everyone.  You never know when you'll meet them again...

 

I can't believe it but...I was right.  I was right.  I was right.  Sorry - don't get to relish in that statement too often - had to do a verbal 'happy dance' of sorts!

(Small personal truth, courtesy of Douglas Adams - “I'd far rather be happy than right any day.”)

 

On that note, be happy!

Kathy Pettit

 

 

 

 

 

Juggling For Balance

Sometimes, quite literally, there are so many balls in the air – that I am certain I may drop one.  And that one ball may be the most important one in play.  There are friends, family, responsibilities (what – I have responsibilities?!)  work, kids, errands, shopping, my blog, my novels that I am writing, my dogs, my chores, my fitness routines  – I am sure you all get the drift because as you are taking the time to read this you are probably neglecting one of those balls!  (But I appreciate that you are willing to do so!) 

If I stop and ask , “Am I doing a good job?”  It would depend on perspective.  If your ball happens to be the one I dropped (sorry, man – I know it sucks!) you’d say ‘no.’  If I am exceeding your expectations, you may be thrilled with my deft abilities in the circus arena.  However, the reality is I am no performer.  I struggle to find that balance of have-to-do’s and would-like-to-do’s.  I have discovered the have-to-do’s are not as much fun as the would-like-to-do’s!  Having both needs met simultaneously would be awesome!  I would have loved to sit by (and in) my friend and neighbour’s pool (which is a fab place to be, by the way!) and bask in the sun with a chilly beverage…but alas…my have-to-do’s had piled up from the week so I was unable to partake in the glorious freedom of sitting idly by their pool and tended by a man-servant (I say this in jest, but he is quite a good bartender!) who looks remarkably like a teddy bear version of Keifer Sutherland.  Ahhh...I digress…

Balancing all my stuff is tough.  But, I’m made of tough stuff – so I muddle through with a smile – hoping I haven’t let too many people down along the way.  I keep moving, onward and upward!  That is where a little tipple of wine (or Tequila Sunrises ;D) helps blur the reminders of your have-to-do’s and focus on your would-like-to-do’s.  Here is where I give each and every reader the permission to blur those lines a bit.  Spend a wee bit of time on what you want to do.  For me, even writing this blog or working on my book is important – so here I am multi-tasking…watching Game of Thrones, doing laundry and blogging J  So please forgive any grievous errors you may take note of!  They came from a place of liking-to-do's!

 

I can't believe it but...I used the archaic term "I digress" in good form!

Happy balancing!

Kathy Pettit

Don't Let Your Want be a Wish!

I had a conversation last week with an old friend, and we were discussing the word “want” (obviously we either lead very boring lives to argue the finer points of a simple word - or we are such deep individuals that we see discussion where others find none!).  I voiced the opinion that I think it is an action word, where she felt it represents a feeling or desire. For instance, "I want to make lots of money", "I want to write a book",  "I want to win the lottery." So while I agree that the word can invoke desire or a feeling - I don't believe it ends there. 

 

Here is why I think it is an action word; If you REALLY want 'it' you will act on that want. If you don't take action, it is not truly a want, but rather more of a wish. Because if you want money, you become really successful at what you do or you may take on extra work to make lots of money. People that really want to write a book – do it – they take action. People play the lottery because they want to win it. You can’t win if you don’t play.  That last statement (I have no idea who coined it - but kudos to whomever is responsible!) is really a moniker for whatever we do, whether in our careers or our personal lives.

You can’t win if you don’t play!

If you don’t take action on whatever it is you want – you don’t deserve it. If you tried and failed (and I speak from experience here) – dust off those knees (I have actually tried so hard some of my pants have worn out knees!)  and try again! If you truly want something (I mean REALLY WANT IT!)– set the goal and take the first step and get out of your comfort zone.  Make want your action word!

 

I can't believe it but...I am taking action on some of my own wants.  Because I have wants - not wishes! 

Happy playing everyone! J

 

Kathy Pettit

 

 

Mission (Im)Possible?

Every now and then I have check the map and make sure we are headed in the right direction.  (Now, I am "mapically" challenged, but you'll get where I'm headed.)  I feel a little bit like we have veered off the intended path and are headed in the wrong direction.

The "slinging sisters" (and by slinging I mean fists and insults) and the "handy" man (and by handy I mean a little too hands on!) are starting to let their emotions get the better of them.  I'm not paid to referee, nor do I find the job very appealing!  So - Hubby and I have come up with Pledge or Mission Statement for our family.

Families are like a small business.  Money is exchanged, goods and services are changed hands, people get tired of their job....and when they get tired they stop caring.  Like all good businesses, having a mission statement, or a plan is vital to its success.  We felt it was time to come up with a Family Mission Statement to strengthen our resolve to be better parents and raise kind, generous individuals who will be engaging contributors to the future.  So, unbeknownst to them, our next family meeting will introduce this concept to them.  We will hang it on every floor in our house.  When we feel the referee whistle come out, we will guide all parties involved over to the poster and get them to read it out loud.  We are hoping that the messages hit home, and they can see beyond their minute grievances and stop the anger.  We will encourage them to use it to redirect Hubby and I, if they feel we are not living up the set out expectations.  (That should be interesting!) 

So Pickle, Peach and Coconut better be prepared for the mission ahead of them.  However, encouraging them to commit everything they do with kindness in mind - cannot be bad.  Wish us luck in this venture - and think about committing to paper your own family mission statement.

I can't believe it but...I am hoping those words make us better, kinder individuals!

Happy Mission Planning,

Kathy Pettit

The (Un)Certainty of Happiness

I often wonder where happiness comes from.  Is it from our external environment, our brain, our hearts, our faith or is it from the people that have touched our lives?  Where does it come from and where does it go when we feel lost?

I started thinking about the definition of happiness.  I quickly realized it is not an all-encompassing term.  It means different things to different people, and is brought on by wide array of events and opportunities that affect us each individually.  There is is no "one source" of happiness.  There is no one book that can permanently enlighten us to the way of happy.  There are chains of events that open up the sky and let you spin in the sun for that moment.  Find any excuse to find more of those moments...it's worth it!

The trouble with happiness, I believe, is this; We can never be truly happy until we are certain that there is nothing "better" than what we have.  But we can never PROVE that what we have is better or more valuable. The answer to happiness lies solely upon the faith that we are at our happiest now.  As humans, we are too smart for our own good.  We have the ability to ask ourselves "what if."  The difficult part in that question is that there is no answer - unless you act upon it.  However, that action may include a series of unfortunate events (kinda like that famous book title!) that make you regret ever asking "what if."  You see, happiness should not be based on hind sight (which, if you know anything about good vision is 20/20!).  Your joy should be present in the here and now - even in the face of disappointment.  Not an easy task.  For some reason it is easier to see what makes us unhappy, and harder to see what does bring joy.

Instead of being a grey dweller, spend your time as a Happy Hunter.  Look for the reasons to smile amidst the gloom.  See the joy that may appear to be wrapped in sadness or disappointment - and ask for happy.  Be vocal about what makes you happy, share it with others...ask those around you what makes them happy and make it so.  Sometimes the greatest joy comes from making someone elses' day.  Live with the intention of happy.

I can't believe it but...writing this post kind made me feel happier than I was feeling!

Your Fellow Happy Hunter,

Kathy Pettit

 http://visual.ly/are-you-happy-0

Sharing the Splendor

 

Totally NOT the bunny I saw but cute!

I recently shared this story with my colleagues, and wanted to pass it along to you.  It was a tiny moment, but I felt it deeply.

 

It was early morning, and before I headed downstairs into the morning zoo that is my family, I opened my bedroom drapes and looked outside.  In the brown, dirty remnants of grass in the fenced patch of land we call our backyard - a tiny, but significant moment was taking place.  Under the bird feeder in my backyard, a giant brown bunny was gobbling up the scattered seeds, surrounded by a flock of chickadees.  Side by side they scavenged the damp ground for the treasures from above.  They weren't at odds with each other, they weren't jockeying for a better position - they were co-existing in this beautiful world in utter harmony.  They recognized there was enough to go around.  They each could get their fill and be content.

 

Amongst the happy (and, let's be honest - at times disgruntled - noises perculating up from downstairs) I recognize how blessed I am to live a life of "plenty."  I have to learn to share more.  There are times when I feel like I don't have "enough."  I have to blink, shake my head and look around and realize I have what I NEED and much, much more!  That quiet moment in my backyard has reminded me that if we all could exist in an environment where we are MOST happy when we make another human being happy, then we have found true and pure joy. I believe all the fighting in the world could be diminished if people really treated others happiness as their own.  I need to share more. Do you have room to be happy making others happy? 

 

I can't believe it but...a bunny and some chickadees shared wisdom with me!

 

Happy sharing,

Kathy Pettit

 

A One-Legged Wonder Woman

Pickle's Hands Holding Heart Stone Found on Beach in P.E.I

Long (I mean long) ago, in a village not unlike our own, a baby came into this world with a problem.  A problem, that back then, was a big deal.  A problem that another mother, less strong and more easily pressured, may have given up on.  In my lucky world, where I have been blessed, I am glad for that mother that chose to fight for her baby.  I am happy that she gave her everything she could and raised her into a strong and caring woman.

That "problem" is my step-mom, Judy.  It was her mother's determination and strength that fought for her to get care, and get treated like a "normal" kid.  You see, my step-mom was born with Spinal Bifida and a club foot.  She endured (and still suffers from) countless surgeries, medications, health problems and mobility issues.  But she is awesome.  You see, some people have that inner strength that doesn't allow them to mope about at their misfortune.  Instead, they feel blessed at the opportunities that they have been given.  People are amazed by my step-mom...amazed that a woman that has one leg can get around, and be, well, "normal."  The thing is, what you have or don't have should not define you.  You are you.  So when my step-mom lost her leg when she was younger - she didn't let it change who she was or alter her planned adventures.  She approached them differently - but still did it! 

The best part about her, is that she can laugh at herself.  She doesn't take any offence when being teased about hobbling around on one leg, at being older than the trees, at being around when the wheel was invented (my dad has shared this "fact" with the kids so knowing him - it MUST be true!).  She can take a heap on her plate, and dish out enough servings right back at ya, with leftovers to boot!  The other part that means a lot to me is her unwavering support in whatever we do.  I don't have a "mom" that wants to be in my life - so when my dad met Judy - she fit the bill.  Whether it's my cooking, my writing, my ideas - she listens.  She encourages.  She offers advice.  And most of all - she cares. 

While I know things are getting tougher for her physically, I sometimes forget what she has been through, and what she goes through everyday just to get out of bed.  I forget because she doesn't let it rule her.  After I had surgery, she listened to my struggles and whining, without once pointing out that she has had something like 50 surgeries to get over.  She hugged, patted, wiped tears (possibly my nose too, she's nice like that) and told me it can only get better.  And of course, she was always right. 

I really believe God gives us what we need, when we need it.  I am glad that he filled my life with Judy.  She has been a blessing....even if she is only one-legged!

I can't believe it but...this one-legged woman is a bit of a rock for me and my family!

Happy appreciating the loved ones in your life,

Kathy Pettit

GivingThanksGiving

Forget the turkey, the stuffing, the potatoes, the gravy, the pumpkin pie, the cranberry sauce (hard to do - I know - but I am going somewhere with this!)...try to conjure up an image of something else that represents Thanksgiving....  It's hard to do, but hopefully what you are left with is "family."  Family is an all-encompassing term representing all whom we hold near and dear to our hearts. People who may either be in our lives by choice or chance - but are here nonetheless!  

I have a thankful heart.  I truly appreciate what I have, where I come from and who I have in my life.  There are some pretty special people who have joined my adventure.  People who have helped me grow, those who reached out a hand when I stumbled, took the time to show me the sunshine when all I saw was rain, who laughed at me and with me, and who guided me towards what was right. 

I have a father.  A warm-hearted, loving, hard-working father.  A father who raised my brother and I when my mother didn't want to.  A father that was humble enough to ask for help when required.  I grew up in Ontario housing, in a neighbourhood that selfishly cycles it's poverty to the next generation.  It's difficult to get out unscathed.  My dad pushed us to finish school and pursue a secondary education.  We listened.  Although I will be eternally grateful to The Food Bank and their contribution to our meals, I wanted more for my future and my family.  I worked hard because I wanted to live so that I could become the giver and help those in need where I could.  A kind of Pay-It-Forward feeling.  I look around at my house that we own, at our stuff, at my kids, at my loving hubby - and FEEL the appreciation right in my bones.  I am so blessed.  God has blessed me in abundance.  I will NEVER forget where I come from.  It is humbling to share with others that I was a recipient of The Food Bank.  It is not a dirty secret, but a fact that helped us survive.  Sometimes, putting a face to an organization helps one realize that their donations do matter, that they are making a positive difference in someones life.  

One thing I have learned along the way is: Be happy and joyful in everything you do.  Remain humble and appreciative.  Don't forget where you came from and how you got to where you are today.  For me, it was a fabulous journey, and the lessons learned along the way were invaluable to my future. 

Thank you everyone for reading.  And - hey - pass on some good deeds to a charity near you!  It will come back to you - I promise!

I can't believe it but...I feel good about having shared my humble beginnings.

Happy happiness,

Kathy Pettit