The (Un)Certainty of Happiness

I often wonder where happiness comes from.  Is it from our external environment, our brain, our hearts, our faith or is it from the people that have touched our lives?  Where does it come from and where does it go when we feel lost?

I started thinking about the definition of happiness.  I quickly realized it is not an all-encompassing term.  It means different things to different people, and is brought on by wide array of events and opportunities that affect us each individually.  There is is no "one source" of happiness.  There is no one book that can permanently enlighten us to the way of happy.  There are chains of events that open up the sky and let you spin in the sun for that moment.  Find any excuse to find more of those moments...it's worth it!

The trouble with happiness, I believe, is this; We can never be truly happy until we are certain that there is nothing "better" than what we have.  But we can never PROVE that what we have is better or more valuable. The answer to happiness lies solely upon the faith that we are at our happiest now.  As humans, we are too smart for our own good.  We have the ability to ask ourselves "what if."  The difficult part in that question is that there is no answer - unless you act upon it.  However, that action may include a series of unfortunate events (kinda like that famous book title!) that make you regret ever asking "what if."  You see, happiness should not be based on hind sight (which, if you know anything about good vision is 20/20!).  Your joy should be present in the here and now - even in the face of disappointment.  Not an easy task.  For some reason it is easier to see what makes us unhappy, and harder to see what does bring joy.

Instead of being a grey dweller, spend your time as a Happy Hunter.  Look for the reasons to smile amidst the gloom.  See the joy that may appear to be wrapped in sadness or disappointment - and ask for happy.  Be vocal about what makes you happy, share it with others...ask those around you what makes them happy and make it so.  Sometimes the greatest joy comes from making someone elses' day.  Live with the intention of happy.

I can't believe it but...writing this post kind made me feel happier than I was feeling!

Your Fellow Happy Hunter,

Kathy Pettit

 http://visual.ly/are-you-happy-0

GivingThanksGiving

Forget the turkey, the stuffing, the potatoes, the gravy, the pumpkin pie, the cranberry sauce (hard to do - I know - but I am going somewhere with this!)...try to conjure up an image of something else that represents Thanksgiving....  It's hard to do, but hopefully what you are left with is "family."  Family is an all-encompassing term representing all whom we hold near and dear to our hearts. People who may either be in our lives by choice or chance - but are here nonetheless!  

I have a thankful heart.  I truly appreciate what I have, where I come from and who I have in my life.  There are some pretty special people who have joined my adventure.  People who have helped me grow, those who reached out a hand when I stumbled, took the time to show me the sunshine when all I saw was rain, who laughed at me and with me, and who guided me towards what was right. 

I have a father.  A warm-hearted, loving, hard-working father.  A father who raised my brother and I when my mother didn't want to.  A father that was humble enough to ask for help when required.  I grew up in Ontario housing, in a neighbourhood that selfishly cycles it's poverty to the next generation.  It's difficult to get out unscathed.  My dad pushed us to finish school and pursue a secondary education.  We listened.  Although I will be eternally grateful to The Food Bank and their contribution to our meals, I wanted more for my future and my family.  I worked hard because I wanted to live so that I could become the giver and help those in need where I could.  A kind of Pay-It-Forward feeling.  I look around at my house that we own, at our stuff, at my kids, at my loving hubby - and FEEL the appreciation right in my bones.  I am so blessed.  God has blessed me in abundance.  I will NEVER forget where I come from.  It is humbling to share with others that I was a recipient of The Food Bank.  It is not a dirty secret, but a fact that helped us survive.  Sometimes, putting a face to an organization helps one realize that their donations do matter, that they are making a positive difference in someones life.  

One thing I have learned along the way is: Be happy and joyful in everything you do.  Remain humble and appreciative.  Don't forget where you came from and how you got to where you are today.  For me, it was a fabulous journey, and the lessons learned along the way were invaluable to my future. 

Thank you everyone for reading.  And - hey - pass on some good deeds to a charity near you!  It will come back to you - I promise!

I can't believe it but...I feel good about having shared my humble beginnings.

Happy happiness,

Kathy Pettit

   

Growing, Growing, Gone

This post all started with my son Coconut feeling sad that our tomato plants have to die when winter comes.  "Why?" he asked repeatedly.  "Why can't they grow taller than the snow and stay alive?"  It touches me that this bothers him.  It makes my heart swell that he, in his 5 year old way, is trying to figure out a way to help them survive.  How do you explain to a child that everything grows old and eventually withers?  Nothing is meant to live forever. 

 

 

I knew the next question was coming, it always does.  "Why does God make things die?"  "Honey, God doesn't MAKE anything die.  Everything on our beautiful planet has a purpose - even us.  The tomato plant works hard all summer.  God gave it a job to do.  What a great job it does!  But soon it will get tired, having completed it's mission, and go to sleep into the earth.  Next year, when we plant our tomatoes, this plant will feed the new one, making it do an even better job at feeding us."  I watch him try and process this in his little brain.  So before he asks, I continue, "We all have a purpose, or a job to do - even you.  When we leave this earth, we go to Heaven."

 

 

He reminds me he doesn't want me die.  Or Daddy.  Or Peach and Pickle.  I hug him, give him the bowl of gathered tomatoes, red, plump and juicy.  Before I can say anything else...he's distracted by the excitement of his harvest, opens the front door yelling to his sisters to come and look at all the tomatoes. 

 

 

Tomatoes.  Sometimes the most mundane situations bring about the deepest thoughts.  Thoughts that make you appreciate where you are standing that very moment.  You are always blessed.  Always.  The trick is to peer into the darkness and find the blessing. 

 

I can't believe it but...tomatoes are so inspirational!

 

Happy harvesting,

 

Kathy Pettit

 

 



Halfway to 70...Luckily 70 is the New 40!

Grandparents are awesome to have when you are my age!  When you are young and you hear the stories of "old times" - it is hard impossible to understand what that really means.  I look around at the changes that have happened since my own childhood and marvel at what we have now.  Imagine being on this earth for the last 80 years...and reflecting back on your youth....then looking around you at this moment.  I LOVE to hear about how they lived...and worked...and managed.  At this stage of my life I can appreciate their input and advice.  They offer it from a place of experience, laced with love.

My lovely grandfather pointed out to me that I was halfway to 70!  Ouch...man...I've got some serious living to do!  Halfway to 70.  I gotta be honest and share I made up the second part of the title.  I am hoping by the time I am ancient older that will be the truth.  How did I get to be this age without knowing where the sands of time have fallen?  (Although pure speculation tells me they have fallen on my floor and whenever I think I have it swept up, it magically ends back under my feet!)  If the next half of my life moves as quickly as the first...I better enjoy every waking moment (and, well I love snuggling in my cozy bed so every sleeping moment too!).

Soooo for all of you other halfway to 70ers...please share your secret on how you plan to spend the next half of your life.  Will you be kinder, laugh more, eat more, eat less, tickle strangers, drink more coffee, more wine, eat chocolate with every meal, get to know your neighbours, pinch the bum of a stranger (ok - don't do that last one - you might get hurt!)?

I can't believe it but...I'm closer to being a senior than not!   

Happy living readers, happy living!

Kathy Pettit

The Grass IS Greener...Only in My Yard, Not Theirs

Whilst Hubby and I did lay sod last weekend, I'm not referring to the lovely patch of greenly goodness that stands out like sore thumb in the midst of our crunchy brown memory of grass!
Sometimes life sucks.  It does.  It's okay to admit that.  Things we wanted to happen - didn't.  Things we wanted - we didn't get.  People that we were supposed to trust broke it.  A job we wanted - we lost.  A loved one fighting a battle lost.  These things matter...they do.  I'm here to tell you - your REACTION matters more.
Think about this:  Did "it" happen for someone else instead, to change their lives for the better?  Did someone else get what they wanted - because maybe they really needed it?  Did someone else get that job that needed it more than you? 

I read a great book (thanks to the advice of hubby), that I would encourage everyone to read, called "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" - GREAT book!  In it, the author uses this example to get the reader to rethink personal suffering: "If you are driving home from work, and suddenly you see a fire engine with it's light flashing turn onto your street, a normal reaction is, "Please don't be my house..."  Maybe you pray for your family's safety.  If it's not your house, is your neighbour more deserving of the loss?"  Questions like these cause me goosebumps.  In a true community, if your neighbour is suffering, so should you.  Instead, we tend to breathe a sigh of relief when bad things happen to other people and not us.  Normal.  But should it be? 

 Seriously.  Look around you at this moment.  I may not even know you - but I am guessing you have a pretty great life.  Focus on what you do have, rather than on what you don't.  Focus on the joy, however small it may seem, and stretch it out.  Let that JOY light a candle onto others, so they can share it with those around them.  Spend more time looking inward for happiness and fulfilment, and less time using what is on the other side of that fence as a stepping stone to discontentment.  If we live our lives comparing ourselves to others we will never be happy.  Ever.  Maybe you don't go on as many vacations as your friends, maybe you have an older, a smaller house...so what?  Maybe they are in need of a friend..maybe their marriage is hurting....maybe life is not being kind to them at this moment.  Admire their green grass and celebrate their blessings....but ENJOY your grass.  It's yours.  Use it with joy.

I can't believe it, but...I'm starting to appreciate the crispy grass.  This side of the fence is pretty great!

Happy days,

Kathy Pettit