How many times in life do we put expectations on others on what WE think they SHOULD do? Or what WE would do if we were them? I don't live in a glass house - but I'm still not throwing any stones. I am plainly guilty. The easy solution to criticize those around us is to assume we are better, smarter and more experienced - we think we have all of the answers to everyone else's problem. Those assumptions are based on our own personal experiences, and we relay that knowledge assuming every detail is identical to our own. Life doesn't work that way. God blessed us each with unique talents and experiences. If instead, we used those experiences as a stepping stone to HELP those that are struggling - rather than judge them - we would be doing such good in the world.
If I think a fish should climb a tree, and base my judgement of that said fish on the fact that it can't - then of course my perception is going to be negative! If I humbly (and this is a hard thing to do - no doubt!) took a step back and really thought about it, I might discover that the task would be an impossible feat. Instant reaction, however, is to judge, give advice and criticize. Shame on me. It is the kinder, more thoughtful person that pauses before speaking and shares that knowledge with me, that in actual fact, it would be impossible for that fish to climb a tree. My perspective was the assumption that animal was defective in thought, and action. But that would be wrong. Only from taking the time to learn about that creature could I discover that the task is impossible.
My goal is to work harder at pausing before giving opinions and advice. To not judge harshly on decisions made by someone else that is prepared to take ownership for their actions. I want to really try and see their side of the story and LISTEN to what they saying. This will be hard for me. I am going to try, readers. I hope this posting has made you think about yourself, and how you can positively influence those around you.
I can't believe it but...I discovered something really deep and meaningful whilst enjoying my wine.
In deep thoughts,
Kathy Pettit
Great, thought-provoking pot Kathy. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks :) You just never know when inspiration will jump out in front of you :)
DeleteExpectations too often act as a wedge in relationships. Not that they're always bad, but yanno... if you want your friends to climb trees, don't make friends with a fish. (That made a whole lot more sense in my brain!)
ReplyDeleteBTW, the enjoyment of wine often triggers deep and meaningful thoughts... it's all those vegetables and raw food that kills 'em.
I am in deep and meaningful thought now... ;P Expectation....that, my friend, can be a bad word when you toss it onto someone else without them knowing it!
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